Come Break Me

I could call today a bad day. In many ways it was a very bad day. But sometimes it takes a heavy storm in order to come back to the sunshine.

There are lots of things I could blame for the bad day... But it seemed that it truly all came back to me. My own problems. My sin.

Sin really messes everything up. It causes you to struggle in nearly every other area of your life.

It is hard to let go.

How do you confess a sin? A deep sin, a dark one, a shameful one, a big one. How do you tell people? I know God can and has forgiven me, but I know that I won't be able to get out of this rut until I speak of this.

Can I let go of my pride?

If I did not care about my pride, my image, this would not be so hard.

I feel that my point of breaking is coming. You could call it a rock bottom. Maybe I could push it off longer, but I don't really want to. I'm tired of living like this, with this. Whether I have a mental breakdown or I let God break me is a choice I have to make.

Come break me.
Rip me into pieces.
Mold me with your hands.
Let nothing be hidden or left behind.
And please pick up the broken pieces and make me how You want me to be.

It will hurt. It will be hard. But living one more moment like this is not worth it. Giving all this up is.