Stress

I really hate stress.

So I've been playing piano for 11ish years.
And I kind of suck.
but I want to get better. so that counts for something, right? and in order for me to get better..
i need to get a scholarship.
at this really expensive music school.

last time i got $200.
for 1 semester, it costs maybe $1000ish. I don't really know.
but $200 wasn't much.

so this time, I have a better repertoire and I definitely care more.
but it just stresses me out so much. I'm not prepared. I'm no where near being done with my pieces. And auditions are in April. That's maybe 2 months.

and I find myself thinking about it all the time and my mom mentions it to me almost every day...
but i rarely practice.
maybe i should make a scheduled time daily for piano.
ha ha ha.

maybe i should take this more seriously. yes..

I suppose stress has it's pros. It forces me to get stuff done. Kind of.

anyway. I should stop complaining and go practice so more. ehh.

okay, fine i'm going.....